Saterday, november 2
I hate my fucking life, its not fair, and i hate it,. i need to kill my self or hurt my self or something i dont care what, i just need to get my pain away or die either one i dont freaking care. why does this keep happening, i was soppossed to go out with aaron and i wanted to cause i cant keep waiting around for casey cause i dont know how long it will be till we can be together, and nnow lindsey messed everything up, cuase now aaron wront go out with me becuase lindsey hates him and he didnt come to the football game cuase of lindsey and he went to karate instead and cried becuase of all this shit. and he went and got her a 4000 dollar "im sorry" necklase. its not fair, i hate this shit i hate guys i hate my life i hatr everything i wish i was dead so i wouldnt have to go through all this. and so i wouldnt have to feel all this pain anymore, the pain i feel everyday of my life, and it sucks. im going to kill myself and thats that no one will care after 6 months or even after 6 weeks, ill fade out of everyones life till everything is normal again and no one remebers poor ol pathetic sarah. So bye everyone i hope you have a good life with out me
Friday, october 25
Sorry all my loyal fans for not writing in a while but that dam school has been keeping me busy. Anyway i broke up with marty cuase he was being a jerk, The game tuesdya that we were soppossed to play in for band, the band was cancelled so we didnt play and after i brroke up with marty that night, gary was comforting me and it really helped me alot to calm down. Hes so sweet. Also Jt asked me out but i told him no for one specific reason. Gary likes me and he brroke up with chantel to go out with me and i said yes to him, i like him alot. Weve been going out sincec monday and i like it alot. We even kissed oncec but only oncee cuase britters, chantel, alex, lindsey, and some other band dorks locked me and gary in the band room (or tried atleast) and he gave me a kiss and then i had to leave cuase of that dam bus. Anyway i went to church with daniel last wensday and it was okay i didnt like the service but i liked being able to talk to him and jessica and raquel, and casey was there so i talked to him which i really liked cuase we have so much in common that we always have good conversations, i wish we would have gone out but right now its a little to late. Well im going to the football game to night to talk to daniel, gary, jamie and casey as ussual but anyway byes!! ill write later
saterday, october 12
ive been very sick lately. all week i had strep throat and laringitis so i lost my voice and couldnt talk at all. so all week i was whispering to everyone and half the pople couldnt understand me. last niight was the football game in Mcgavok where my friend ryan goes but i didnt see him or atleast i dont think i did. But i went with a 103 degree fever so i could talk to the band. me and jamie and gary and casey had fun while we were talking. the band sucked thought. the Mcgavok band was way bigger way better and kicked out butts. so we were talking to 2 of the other band members on ther marching band and they were really kewl. but i wront ever see them again untill next year but o well. Chantal told me the grossest thing her and gary made out * ewwwwww* thats just wrong i cant belave she did that!!!!!!!!!! i think i might break up with marty cuase hes getting on my nerves he always cussing and always saying things that i wish he wouldnt do and i cant stand it. and on top of it all i really like casey even though he goes out with raquel. but i dont know what to do, i feel horrible if i break up with him cuase of my stupid guilty concience.!!!!!!!!!!!! somebody help me out please i really could use it.
sunday, october 6 (i think)
its sunday i have had a very weird week. ive been trying to help jacob feel better cuase his girlfriend broke up with him and so wish i could help him but he wront talk to anyone he did leave me a message last night while i was sleeping but i dont feel like explaining it. last night wasvery weird i spent over 3 HOURS talking to JT about absoulutly nothing. we argued over the stupidest things and some how got in to all these diffrent coversations. Me and him were both craking up at one point cuase we kept quoteing from movies andit was so funny, i could never quote with marty he hasnt seen some of the movies so he wouldnt understand but it was hilarious. we quoted from monty python adn the holy grail, robin hood men in tights and one other cant remeber but i loved it. anyway ill make another entry later
Friday, october 4
Hey everyone! i have been so mad lately so i havent been on to write alot. Someone at school turned me into the guidence counceler and she called my parents and my parents got pissed at me and now i get to go to family counceling isnt that so much fun! But i also got a new boyfriend and hes so sweet i love him alot! he even wrote me a poem and is goingg to give me another one tonight at the homecomming game. I cant wait to see him. I also have to pratice for band today cuase our homecomming is the 15 and i get to play the special part that gary and jamie the trumpets get to play for "go team go" so that made me happy but i have to memorize it first. OH i won the student council election for vice president it made me so happy i couldnt beleave it. I had fun the other day cause jacob let me yell at lea and it was so fun cuase i started cussing her out and then that bitch called me a bitch and that was so wrong but i made her scard and she got off line and blocked me off her list, LOL i love scaring peoples!........................... im back from the game it was so awesome! i saw my guy, marty, hes so sweet, his poem was sooooooo sweet i like him alot. i miss him so much when im not with him. I wish i could see him more often but hes in high school so i dont see him unless hes at a football game. But o well i know he loves me, and im glad i met him.Friday the 13 was the luckiest day of my life, i met marty that day i figuerd out how much i like him. Any way we won our game 40 to 16 so it was kewl and stuff.I didnt get to hang out with my band friends cause of the police AGAIN so that made me mad but ill see them soon i think, ive got to go, byebyes all of my royal fans!
Friday, september 27
To day i stayed home from schooll cuase i wroke up and had a horrible headache so my parents let me stay home. But i was feeling better by this afternoon and decided to go to the football game up in lebanon. it was kewl i was hangin out with todd and kirk and the band dorks but i saw marty and J.T. and billy so i started to hang out with them. When the band got off for break i went and hung with them till they had to get back up in the bleachers. they were pretty good when they played i was so proud of my fellow band dorks. BAND DORKS ROCK! YEAH!!!!!!!! everyone remeber that. Then i stole billys hat cuase i wanted to waer it and it looked kewl on me (ill keep telling myslef that) but my dad made me go sit with him so i had to give it back gosh darn it *snapes* but marty wrote me a poem it was so sweet. its one of the sweetest things a guy has ever done for me (exept for a certain band dork who i talk to online all the time, you know who you are) anyway im tired im going to bed talk to everyone later!
Wensday, septmeber 25
It has been bought to my attention by one of my really good friends (casey) that my last journal was kinda of scaring people who read it and im sorry but im having a bad time right now and i wrote it down like i was sopposed to but now i dont think ill do anything to drastic...................................... yet. Anyway on to dyas news today was okay i just got in a hug e fight with my ex bf cody becuase he was being an *** and i really got pissed at him and he made me cry the whole time at school that i accaully was there. But see he never cared about me or he wouldnt have said those things to me. But i guess ill never be happy.
Monday, spetember 23
Life still sucks but does anyone care nooooo. but schools hard and it takes up lots of energy. And today i had a very hard day cuase of band and then tests and newspaper and student council eleaction is going on and im working on that and i have so much work to do and then i walk home everyday from school and the first thing i hear right when i walk in the door is my parents yelling at me for no reason. so of course i yell back i said "well nothings ever good enough for you everything i do is wrong i can never please you" and they said "yeah your right nothing you do is good enough" so i went to my room and turned the music up and sat there nad then thye came in there and yelled at me again so i decided to punch the wall again i put a little hole in it and the freakin grounded and now the ywant me to walk all the way back to the store after i just got home and i very tired they just dont give a care about me no one does and im so sick of it. i swaer im going to kill my self i just cant stand my life anymore and with the fact that no one cares about me. i just dont know what else i can do death is my last resort.
Wensday, septmeber 25
It has been bought to my attention by one of my really good friends (casey) that my last journal was kinda of scaring people who read it and im sorry but im having a bad time right now and i wrote it down like i was sopposed to but now i dont think ill do anything to drastic...................................... yet. Anyway on to dyas news today was okay i just got in a hug e fight with my ex bf cody becuase he was being an *** and i really got pissed at him and he made me cry the whole time at school that i accaully was there. But see he never cared about me or he wouldnt have said those things to me. But i guess ill never be happy
Monday, spetember 23
Life still sucks but does anyone care nooooo. but schools hard and it takes up lots of energy. And today i had a very hard day cuase of band and then tests and newspaper and student council eleaction is going on and im working on that and i have so much work to do and then i walk home everyday from school and the first thing i hear right when i walk in the door is my parents yelling at me for no reason. so of course i yell back i said "well nothings ever good enough for you everything i do is wrong i can never please you" and they said "yeah your right nothing you do is good enough" so i went to my room and turned the music up and sat there nad then thye came in there and yelled at me again so i decided to punch the wall again i put a little hole in it and the freakin grounded and now the ywant me to walk all the way back to the store after i just got home and i very tired they just dont give a care about me no one does and im so sick of it. i swaer im going to kill my self i just cant stand my life anymore and with the fact that no one cares about me. i just dont know what else i can do death is my last resort
wensday, septemeber 18
why does life suck so much for me? i spent all day crying at school and all night last night. all cuase of a stupid guy who doesnt eve know how much i like him. ive had to stand bye and watch him fall in love a girl who hurt him badly )with his feelings and physical pain) and then he falls in love with another girl and i keep wondering when hes going to notice me or even give me a chance atleast. its so depressing. i just wish i had someone. life sucks and all i want to do is die, and i deserve it and i think everyone would be happier with out me. thats all i got to say i hope that someone inportant reads this.
saterday september 14,
Good morning my fellow leprechauns do you want your lucky charms back? my little green leprechauns are getting angry and are starting to poke people again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my good twin sister samantha isnt here shes in my locker at school sleeping and doesnt want to be disturbed,i got sick of her talking for me everyone loves sarah more , they all love sarah even when they pretend to be afraid they know they love sarah.sarah says she feels so loved and special or somethinglike that, she doesnt really know.sorry sarah hasnt been on in a while her coputer crashed and she has to use her grandfathers comp so she will be gone once again gosh darn it *snapes* well sarah has to go get samantha and there going to go somewhere so ill be back on later!
Wensday september 11th
hi everyone heres another ranting and raving feature specializing in my sardonic outlook on life. TEE HEE HEE HA! Today sarah prefers to refer to her self in third person.Sarahs very hyper today cause of her medisin.Shell be ok just dont call her crazy your going to hurt her feelings *sniff sniff* IM ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! see everyone loves me so much they just dont reconize it, tsk tsk, even when they say there afraid of me deep down i know they love me they just need to admit it.sarahs so loveable!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO GET OUT OF MY BODY I WANT TO TALK!!! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!! yay! im here that was my EVIL twin i dont need her to talk for me! oh wait i am the EVIL one o well you know you love it. no one appreciates my wonderful sence of humer and sardonic outlook on life its going to make me cry.............. IM OK!!!!! EVERYONE I AM OK!. i think ill go now before i freak anyone else out TEE HEE HEE HA
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